Best Limerick Poems

Loved to write as far back as memory goes
Without any thought for a verse to compose

Poetic expressions of innate creativity
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There was an old bugger called God,
who got a young virgin in pod.
This disgraceful behaviour
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There was a Young Lady of Dorking,
Who bought a large bonnet for walking;
But its colour and size,
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Oh sure...
It started innocently enough

In the beginning
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What's the name of your car, asked Michael
Forgot the name, it starts with ‘T', said Nichole
"What a strange car
Never heard of it so far.
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There was an Old Man of Peru,
Who never knew what he should do;
So he tore off his hair,
And behaved like a bear,
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O TAKE my hand, Walt Whitman!
Such gliding wonders! such sights and sounds!
Such join'd unended links, each hook'd to the next!
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A limerick can be rather funny
when the syllables are on the money.
But when none of it fits
it can give you the shits
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There was a Young Lady of Norway,
Who casually sat on a doorway;
When the door squeezed her flat,
She exclaimed, 'What of that?'
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There was a Young Lady in White,
Who looked out at the depths of the Night;
But the birds of the air
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The was a Young Lady of Bute,
Who played on a silver-gilt flute;
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There was a Young Lady of Hull,
Who was chased by a virulent bull;
But she seized on a spade,
And called out, 'Who's afraid?'
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There was a Young Lady whose chin,
Resembled the point of a pin;
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased a harp,
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Once Michel threw Liza a ball
It hit her torso she did call
Wow, ‘Do you mean me doll? '
He laughed at and said ‘a mall'
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There was a young lady of Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside,
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Just like the haiku ‘ The cosmic union'
Where the sky bows down to kiss the earth,
Here is an adorable poet -
Dr. M. Asim Nehal
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There was an Old Man in a boat,
Who said, 'I'm afloat! I'm afloat!'
When they said, 'No! you aint!'
He was ready to faint,
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In a village, there lived a known thief
Who was very fond of eating fried beef
Ate it for breakfast n' lunch
For dinner and for brunch
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To be able to laugh is a great boon
All worries it will melt down soon
It is nice to practise that art
Sure it will give life a kick start
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There was a Young Lady whose nose,
Was so long that it reached to her toes;
So she hired an Old Lady,
Whose conduct was steady,
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24+480+0+(3*0*4)
________________ - (2*11) = 5*10+0
7
A quire, a ream, and a score
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My wife told me to get her a lip gloss
By mistake I gave her a tube of glue
Now she keeps a severe grudge
She never lets her lips budge
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Tom had a cow with lovely calf
Calf was drinking milk only half
Tom used to milk daily
Calf felt empty belly
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There lived a man with the name Nero
He wasn't another Nero nor a hero
He was only as bright
As the dim candle light
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A man got a thousand rupees note
While walking on highway,
He took lunch at five star hotel with gloat
Two thousand rupees his bill came,
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At night, lying down on my cosy bed
Beautiful rhymes keep coming to my head
On trying to capture them,
I succeed to put down some
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As darkness spread and the light was out
I stayed wide awake all through the night
To see where the sun went
And lay inside my tent
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Each day he drank a bottle of rum whole
And in his liver was found a big hole
Sad, met with a sudden death
His doctor said in one breath
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Once he spotted a hive of honey bees
Upon a branch amid a clump of trees
He thought of taking honey
That would fetch him some money
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Tin and Pin were going to market
On the way they found a basket
The basket had a pen
Pin thought, " it is a gain"
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It requires little more than a glance
To notice I don't fit in my pants
My name rhymes with jelly
But I, with large belly
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There was a Young Lady of Portugal,
Whose ideas were excessively nautical:
She climbed up a tree,
To examine the sea,
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With broken hand, a man was screaming
As loud and shrill as a pig squealing
Said a man from behind
"You only broke your hand
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There was a young person whose history
Was always considered a mystery.
She sate in a ditch,
Although no one knew which,
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Two lovers secretly planned on a ‘date'
They agreed to meet at dead of the night
Into darkness, as they stole
Fell into a deep manhole
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I think cake is so yummy
It always fills my tummy
And it's fun to bake
Oh dear sweet cake
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There was a Young Person of Crete,
Whose toilette was far from complete;
She dressed in a sack,
Spickle-speckled with black,
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What is poetry?
Poetry is many things
But there are far more things that poetry is not
Poetry is not a style of writing
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There was a Young Lady of Poole,
Whose soup was excessively cool;
So she put it to boil
By the aid of some oil,
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There was a Young Lady of Ryde,
Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied.
She purchased some clogs,
And some small spotted dogs,
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There was an Old Derry down Derry,
Who loved to see little folks merry;
So he made them a Book,
And with laughter they shook,
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There was a Young Lady whose bonnet,
Came untied when the birds sate upon it;
But she said: 'I don't care!
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After coloring my head with dye
I leave my damp hair open to dry
Thus my age, I conceal.
Careful not to reveal,
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My neighbor's little son is so smart
In a write up on Grandparents, he wrote
"They never seem to hurry,
Any time, can tell a story
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There was a Young Lady of Turkey,
Who wept when the weather was murky;
When the day turned out fine,
She ceased to repine,
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In the Kingdom of Fools, there was a poet
Who thought his poems were really great
Was a man of high pretence
But what he wrote made no sense.
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As Corona strikes, world is in standstill
All around, we witness its massive kill
Terrible is the sight
We're groping in the night
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"Shouldn't we observe our jubilee", asked Bri
"Shall we go out and have a turkey fry"?
In words as sharp as a knife,
Replied his angry wife.
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I've reached beyond those limits that bound
And searched around ‘til I finally found
The Pinnacle of Reality
Is in my utter mortality
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After his booze, getting out of bed
In a timorous voice, he said;
"I am in my underwear
It's torn, please don't stare
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There was an old man in Plymouth
Who had a set of false teeth
Once when he ate,
A piece of tough meat
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"It's our wedding Jubilee"- said Florence
to her sharp witted husband Lawrence
"How should we celebrate?
Shouldn't we make it real great? "
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An elephant donned pants so bright,
he danced with delight, oh what a sight!
but with each mighty twirl,
the fabric did swirl,
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I once had a friend called Djirdjirian;
His Christian name was Haig - though Armenian;
(The British had a fine Post-
al Office on the coast) :
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There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;
At the sound of each sweep
She enraptured the deep,
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'Accept that to suffer is life
Tolerate your opponent without strife'
To this he did abide
But silently sighed
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Mr. Moody was in a serious problem;
It was Evening and his Face was Glum;
Does not ever brood,
But when in a mood,
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Once Liza thought to have a fun
She showed a puppet tiger to Johan
Johan made an outcry
For fun he too did try
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With a philosophic bent of mind
To his thoughts he was confined
Instead of loving his wife
He pondered over life
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Limericks are no more taught in schools
As they are thought fit only for fools
Poetic skills they don't hone
Sadly they are left alone
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He went home gaily after a few pegs
Fell onto his bed dangling his soiled legs
Blissfully fell asleep soon
His wife came calling him 'loon'
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Once I saw Sahund moving round and round,
He was on bicycle, he was two hundred pounds
In the end of the field he fetched furious hound.
Bicycle was in speedy motion his heart pounds,
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The Science teacher told his eager class
Alas, I can't read without my eye glass
In rest room, left my testicles
(What he meant was ‘spectacles')
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There was Old Man in a pew,
Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;
But he tore it in pieces
To give to his nieces,
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There was a Young Person of Smyrna,
Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;
But she seized on the cat,
And said, 'Granny, burn that!
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There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
Who never had more than a penny;
He spent all that money,
In onions and honey,
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On her, his rapt eyes began to explore
The pull of his sharp eyes, she couldn't ignore
Like rippling waves in a pond
Rose in her an electric bond
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There was an Ol Man of Quebec,
A beetle ran over his neck;
But he cried, 'With a needle,
I'll slay you, O beadle!'
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There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,
Who made a remarkable curtsey;
She twirled round and round,
Till she sunk underground,
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There was an Old Man of Madras,
Who rode on a cream-coloured ass;
But the length of its ears,
So promoted his fears,
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On the stage, she performed a dazzling dance
The young and old sat alike with fixed gaze
She had magical skill
Everyone was in great thrill
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Now that he is an adolescent
Visited by dreams iridescent
He no more wants candy
But a little brandy
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There once was a guy called King Big Head
Who tried very hard for PH cred`
But his poetry`s grim
`Cause he`s really quite dim
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Guard your tongue before words you fling
Let them not fly as from a sling
Tongue is to taste
And never to bite
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I have a cat with fur as soft as silk
She always has an eye on my milk
A cutie, I love so much
Sometimes, she acts like a witch
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He got down from the train with his baggage
Walked out through a dirty soiled passage
His attention was captured
By a bold lettered Placard;
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There was an Old Man of Hong Kong,
Who never did anything wrong.
He lay on his back,
With his head in a sack,
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There was an Old Man of the East,
Who gave all his children a feast;
But they all ate so much
And their conduct was such
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There once was a writer named Lear
With the first name of Edward...I fear
He was English...I say
He wrote Limericks every day
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He was arrested for assaulting a policeman;
The magistrate asked 'What was your plan? '
'Sir, I was in a phone booth,
Talking to my girlfriend Ruth,
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Across the room I heard like a song
Strange like a machine gun, as if a Rap song
Continuous rapping of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
I did not realize it was my brother mother in law
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He saw a girl who in looks was so sweet
Behind, on her buttocks gave her a pat
She turned with a frown
And knocked him down
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There was a young poet named Kostas
How do I know, he sported moustache
His poems appeals and blooms
By the light of the moon
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There was an Old Man of Dundee,
Who frequented the top of a tree;
When disturbed by the crows,
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Her tired eyes have lost their past shine
On her feeble face, deep wrinkles line
Faded is her cheek
Of sadness they speak
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As he went for a long country stroll
he discerned losing his heart and soul
to a lovely lass,
cutting fodder grass
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He said, he couldn't spring into action
The doctor put him under traction
He found it cosy,
Being very lazy
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A woman ran into the balcony
Husband ran behind yelling... "Stop, Honey
Why are you so dumb?
Kindly do not jump
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Most of my limericks are just fillers
Don't expect them to be thrillers
When I run short of words
They come to me as guards
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There was an Old Man with a owl,
Who continued to bother and howl;
He sat on a rail
And imbibed bitter ale,
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There was an Old Man of Bohemia,
Whose daughter was christened Euphemia,
Till one day, to his grief,
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There was an Old Person of Rhodes,
Who strongly objected to toads;
He paid several cousins,
To catch them by the dozens,
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O Norah, lay your basket down,
And rest your weary hand,
And come and hear me sing a song
Of our old Ireland.
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There was an Old Person of Chester,
Whom several small children did pester;
They threw some large stones,
Which broke most of his bones,
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Tom said, 'May I come in'
Bom said, 'Wait, I am with kin'
'Weight is fifty four in random
I can make you free from boredom'.
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, Limerick

There was a young boy from Manassas
Who forgot to wash under his glasses
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There was a ship`s Captain called Cur
A pirate so extraordinaire
He was hell-bent
On the Malevolent
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There was a boy who loved custard
For a change, he ate it with mustard
Though it tasted awful
And the boy felt doleful
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There was a Young Lady of Clare,
Who was sadly pursued by a bear;
When she found she was tired,
She abruptly expired,
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There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
Who wished he had never been born;
So he sat on a chair,
Till he died of despair,
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